02 December 2006

Lung Cancer

They say smokers never grow old, they die young. As I am one of the fatherless children who have struggled through life with only a mother to sustain the needs of the family. It was not easy for a young girl like me who have been loved, pampered and taken cared of by a loving father. I fear my father, he was a disciplinarian, but I loved him dearly, though my greatest regret was not being very verbal about it, but I love him so much. I was a papas girl in the making. And as the eldest in the family it was a role I have to play.

At an early age I have to work part time as a student assistant to support my studies. Reporting for work during my break periods, arranged thousands of books, cleaned them, sorted them the dewey decimal way, served as junior librarian when the librarians were away or absent from work, errand girl, clerk, and lots of things I have loved doing and has been a part of my college life.

Lung cancer, it was the cause why my father died. I have seen him suffer from it and how painfull that sight and that memory for our family. Piercing your heart seeing him fight to live just another minute. He was too young to die, I know he was not ready to die but physically he was too weak to survive. He made everything to recover, sold our jeepneys, our house and neary everything but to no avail it did not extned his life. The cancer was way too far reaching the depths of his lungs and piercing his heart and other major organs. Looking back, he used to smoke like a rapid chain smoker, a chain smoker in every sense of the word. And I just hate the thought of this useless cigarette which took my father and left us empty.

And I'm thankfull, still for everything that happened in my life, I wouldnt be where I am now. For that Someone up there who have been sustaining me, holding my hand, supporting me and always being there every step of my way. I know without Him in my life, life wont be the same. For the people He used to bless me and to help me in my journey. " So close, I believe, You're holding me now in Your hands I belong, You'll never let me go......All along You were beside me even when I couldn't tell, and through the years You showed me more of You, more of You "


Michael Arnel Honesto Amerikano (seudonimo) said...

Kumusta po kayo?

I hope and pray you and your family are in good condition upon your reading this comment of mine.

Mabuti po naman. Ako po si Michael Arnel Honesto Amerikano (seudonimo). I currently reside in the United States.

Because a few of my relatives died of cancer, I thought I would send along this message to cheer you up. I admire you for your courage, faith and honesty. I accept you as you are.

Pagpalain ka ng Panginoon! May God bless you! I shall always pray for you and your family. I shall visit often to read your Weblog entries.

You convey the true essence of a loving and caring Filipna. I accept you as you are. Beacause you are a strong and God-fearing woman, who loves and honor your family.

Finally, as a Christian, I would like to close this comment by praying the Ama Namin (the Lord's Prayer)...

Ama namin, sumasalangit ka,
Sambahin ang Ngalan Mo.
Mapasaamin ang kaharian Mo,
Sundin ang Loob Mo
dito sa lupa para ng sa Langit.
Bigyan Mo po kami ng aming kakanin sa araw-araw.
At patawarin Mo po kami sa aming mga sala,
para ng pagpapatawad namin sa mga nagsala sa amin.
At huwag Mo po kaming ipahintulot sa tukso,
At iadya Mo po kami sa lahat ng masama,
[Sapagkat sa Iyo ang kaharian,
ang kapangyarihan,
at ang kapurihan
ngayon at magpakailanman.]

Anonymous said...

Strong person ka haz oi! SURVIVOR! Life's like that but you are really blessed. Ur pup's watching you day and night so worry no more..Lab yah geng! huhuhuuuhuhu! *mwah*

ZELMARQ said...

to michael: thank you for the encouragement, the comment and also for visiting my blog... May God bless you...

ZELMARQ said...

to rangics: heheheh lab you too bars, at least we have somewhere to write our pains down and feel relieved after.....

Anonymous said...

halez, im deeply touched by this blog entry.Maka -relate ko sa imo coz i knw how it feels to lose a father. I was also a papa's girl & he died of cancer too.But, know what touched me more?...these last 4 lines of of this blog entry. Diba lyrics ni sa song? i 4got the title? I really like this song--it's so inspiring.It reminds me that God is always there 4 me-through good & bad times...taga-i ko lyrics ani beh....hehehe!--conie--

ZELMARQ said...

char lang cong; salamat sa pag basa sa blog nako ha nakahilak sad ko while ga close mga tickets; lagi , Im glad sent multitudes of angels to comfort us; and we see them in the lives of people around us....

Ann said...

wow!it’s great to read articles that come directly from the heart. Thanks for sharing