20 August 2013

Psychology of being sick

I hate being sick.
Check-up. Hmmmm, not so nice word for me.
No, really not for me.  But , my question goes who ever really wanted to be sick in the first place. Im sure no one would ever ever dare like to be sick.
In my case I have been in denial for the couple of years with the lump on my right breast, the doctor said it was just .5 cm seven years ago.  I was not courageous enough or never will be that courageous enough to have another check-up. Maybe with a couple of breast cancer deaths I guess it wouldnt be a surprise for me but, honestly. Im deeply scared for my life, for my family  for my contacts, for my co workers, my friends and to myself. Though, death is something inevitable but of course we could not talk about it, more often we could joke about but never ever serious. One time last week during our training deepening, our facilitator asked us to listen to her voice with closed eyes and she was talking about me on my soul state to hear only 3 people dear to me and what would I expect to hear from them. For a moment I told myself that I wont cry, that its not something that I could cry about. Then , I heard one sob, then another sob, then a sob from a not so distant corner of the room and then I heard my own sob and felt my own tear. Death is something sure to come to our lives but its something we wanted to come later.
      Life is too short and death is just he beginning of eternity. I have come to realize that when death is near and we can learn to number our days and learn to do the things we ought to do now now of regret in the end. I have a long list of people that I desire to share the gospel of the Lord but always procrastinating. I know I have to have a goal in mind and decide when to do it.

  to be continued....



ruthinian said...

I hate being sick too. Thanks for visiting my blog. I appreciate it.

Zelmarq said...

hello ruthinian. Thank you also for the visit, hope we can visit each others blog.